flomation:

Part 2/?

Part 1: x
Part 3: x

flomation:

I thought I should share some things I’ve collected

Edit: woah you guys really liked this so I made a part 2: x

THIs is my favorite thing evER

so now ya’ll are subjected to 1.5 WEEEEks of this

(Note: I overhear things while working both the ems job and the food delivery job.)

Nurse: “Five second rule doesn’t apply to bodies.”

letstalkmurder:

hyourinmaruice:

caseythesalamancer:

pokemallow:

do yoU EVER GET SO UPSET THAT FICITIONAL CAHRACCTESRS HAVE THE SAME AGE AS YOU AND THEYVE GONE ON SUCH MAGICAL ADNVETURES AND YOU HAVENT????

What do you mean?  You went on all of those adventures with them, didn’t you?

That is the best answer ever

Woah

(Source: dekroth, via victorianbmx)

reluctantbearbait:

one of the reasons my dad would call me a little shit was because whenever I brought my stepmother flowers in the spring, he knew they were stolen. he knew because he could tell whose fucking yard/tree/whatever I’d stolen them from on sight.

every. single. time.

speaking of flowers, when sister M was about five or six she had this very, very bad habit of stopping to pick all the dandelions on our way home, which would make us other kids late and get us all into trouble

frustrated with this, i told sister M that she was taking away the faerie’s homes, and that she was effectively killing them by doing this

she burst into tears and never picked any again

sadlittlegay:

my gender identity is stardust and apathy

(via victorianbmx)

One true thing I can say about my company is that they are quite cheap. They also have an issue with getting things done correctly the first time, especially when it comes to taking care of their ambulances. 
A good example is when we needed to send my rig, 170, to the mechanics to get the back door fixed. The door would close, but not all the way, not unless it was slammed closed, and while that wasn’t that much of an inconvenience, my partners and I felt that it looked really bad in front of patients and family. We were also getting close for an oil change; it wasn’t overdue, but would need to be fixed within the next few weeks or so.
We send our ambulance to the mechanics for the oil change and the back door issue, and get it back in a few days with nothing fixed… though the mechanics shop had instead changed the rear facing mirror to that of a camera that could now take pictures of the front cab, and a back up camera above the back door. And of course, no one was trained on these cameras for nearly a month, we didn’t get the oil change until it was quite overdue, and we’re still having door issues over five months later.
But, with the mechanics shop constantly dropping the ball, and putting off what they could put off for as long as they possibly could, including oil changes and general maintenance, my partner N and I decided to take matters into our own hands. Instead of bothering the shop for a wheel cover for our ambulance, we decided to buy our own. It took a while to decide on which one to buy, since this would be our wheel cover, but we didn’t want to spend too much, and we didn’t want to chance another crew taking it off… nor getting it confiscated by the mechanics shop (sorry, Betty Boop).
So, in jest of all three of us having quite the lead foot, we got this cover. Four months and several mechanic shop appointments later, and not a single word about our purchase.

One true thing I can say about my company is that they are quite cheap. They also have an issue with getting things done correctly the first time, especially when it comes to taking care of their ambulances. 

A good example is when we needed to send my rig, 170, to the mechanics to get the back door fixed. The door would close, but not all the way, not unless it was slammed closed, and while that wasn’t that much of an inconvenience, my partners and I felt that it looked really bad in front of patients and family. We were also getting close for an oil change; it wasn’t overdue, but would need to be fixed within the next few weeks or so.

We send our ambulance to the mechanics for the oil change and the back door issue, and get it back in a few days with nothing fixed… though the mechanics shop had instead changed the rear facing mirror to that of a camera that could now take pictures of the front cab, and a back up camera above the back door. And of course, no one was trained on these cameras for nearly a month, we didn’t get the oil change until it was quite overdue, and we’re still having door issues over five months later.

But, with the mechanics shop constantly dropping the ball, and putting off what they could put off for as long as they possibly could, including oil changes and general maintenance, my partner N and I decided to take matters into our own hands. Instead of bothering the shop for a wheel cover for our ambulance, we decided to buy our own. It took a while to decide on which one to buy, since this would be our wheel cover, but we didn’t want to spend too much, and we didn’t want to chance another crew taking it off… nor getting it confiscated by the mechanics shop (sorry, Betty Boop).

So, in jest of all three of us having quite the lead foot, we got this cover. Four months and several mechanic shop appointments later, and not a single word about our purchase.

forever-a-sconed:

A really cute culinary student taught me how to do this with a radish. I had a crush on him for a while and it wasn’t until like two days before class ended that I realized he was also into me???? But neither of us said anything and since I was in pastry we never saw each other again
Sorry ohsugarfoot look we could have had our threesome like two years ago now

It was D, wasn’t it? He was such a cutie too…

forever-a-sconed:

A really cute culinary student taught me how to do this with a radish. I had a crush on him for a while and it wasn’t until like two days before class ended that I realized he was also into me???? But neither of us said anything and since I was in pastry we never saw each other again

Sorry ohsugarfoot look we could have had our threesome like two years ago now

It was D, wasn’t it? He was such a cutie too…

(Source: kodomomuke)

Nicknames are a vital part of any job, EMS included. They help show that you’re a part of the family, that you don’t mind being picked on, and that you know how to joke with the best of them.

Like most nicknames, some are short lived, some are long lived, some evolve over time, and some end up being an inside joke that slowly die. 

For instance, I was nicknamed “Al Roker” (you know, the weatherman) because, on the way to work, I heard the weather report. Thanks to where we live in the Midwest, there are times that the weather is ever changing and highly inaccurate; my coworkers teased me because I reported our area was planning on getting three to seventeen inches of snow. In reality, we only got a half inch of rain, and the nickname only stuck for that shift.

One nickname that went around the station for a while was for another coworker, one that had high levels of anxiety, and he seemed to constantly be freaking out about something or another. (For those familiar with The Book of Mormon, imagine Elder Arnold Cunningham with a lot less optimism and a lot more jaded cynicism.) I nicknamed him Twitchy, from the book Holes, and because he twitched a lot, both in the station and behind the wheel. It never really stuck, but the nickname that his partner gave him recently, seems to be sticking: “Boo-boo”. It’s both sweet, and a jab at how many mistakes he seems to make.

Another nickname at this station seems to be fading, just like my time remaining. A female coworker brought in sweets for her own birthday, and while they were just store bought cupcakes, a male coworker just was as happy as a clam. I said that he should be named “Cupcake,” mostly in jest, and he wore that name proudly… though as the crews and schedules shifted around, the name started being said less and less, and now more people know him by his real name. 

Real names aren’t even used a lot of the time, either. A female coworker of mine dislikes her first name, and prefers to go by her middle name, making people looking for her confused, since they are nothing alike. Thankfully, she’s been here a while and almost everyone is aware of the difference.

And when names fail, as they often do, descriptions are always a key factor in talking about your partners. “The tall, bald one,” “The one with the creepy mustache,” and “The shortest guy at the station, by far,” are all descriptions that I’ve personally used for people I’ve worked with.

At least descriptions are better than some of the nicknames.

last post of the night — trying to work on typing up other ems stories, which have gone on for a lot longer than i was originally considering them to go (planned on like, 2 or 3 max, currently have almost 6? maybe 7? planned)

and instead i started looking up various crochet patterns for a friend’s baby shower coming up in six! weeks, which is a lot less time than i was thinking

especially if i’m planning on doing this very cute owl blanket (though with a yellow middle and border, keeping the pink flowers and the owl) which looks like a lot of fun but a lot of sewing at the same time

plus i have to go through and simplify the pattern because the one thing i like about red heart super saver patterns is that they’re free… but they’re also complicated as hell to read. using asterisks to start and stop repeating stitches is so dumb!

and i was supposed to work on dishes (sorry boyfriend) and clean the bathroom and start getting the house ready for our visiting friend next week… and instead i want to tear through my yarn buckets in glee

but first, bed time, ‘cause i’m doing an almost fourteen hour day tomorrow (today?) and most of it’s going to be driving so i really shouldn’t be sleepy

(at least i have saturday afternoon now off, which will be good for doing the above)